The following article was published on thebigtip.com.au on 27 May 2010
When I was 14 a friend of mine asked if I wanted to become an umpire. We could play football on Saturday and umpire junior games on Sundays. And earn some extra pocket money. The next Friday night I was down at ‘umpire training’, a collection of outcast nerds seriously practicing positioning, bouncing and backwards running. The following Sunday I was umpiring an under 11’s practice match, more nervous than I’d ever been before a football game. It didn’t occur to me then, but now it is obvious that the league needed umpires. Quickly.
My father drove me to the ground bemused. Having watched over 100 games of me playing, he was not particularly keen on spending a few hours at a suburban ground watching his son umpire. ‘Good holding the ball decision in the last quarter’ was not a comment he really wanted to make. And how would he respond if he ran into someone he knew? ‘Yes, I’m watching my son umpire’. ‘Oh but yes he still plays’. Originally, umpiring junior games was quite a rewarding experience. It was enlightening to see a game from a different viewpoint, to restrain myself from going for the ball and from turning my head to the umpire when I saw an infringement. And after I realised that I was that umpire, I found the job quite easy. Most players with significant football experience have a natural reaction to an obvious infringement. As an umpire, you simply have to blow the whistle and pay the free kick. There is no reason to think. The free kick is very obvious.
Showing posts with label aussie rules. Show all posts
Showing posts with label aussie rules. Show all posts
Saturday, June 5, 2010
The Curse of the instant society
The following article was published on thebigtip.com.au on 20 May 2010
Round 20, 2008. Hawthorn sits second on the ladder and has a full strength team, one remarkably similar to the group that received premiership medals over a month later. In fact their starting 18 consisted of 18 soon to be premiership players. As a tune up for the finals, the Hawks took on 10 th placed Richmond. The Tigers were surging, again, towards an inevitable 9th place, giving their hungry fans a short look at the finals and another number 8 draft pick. Incredibly, then coach Terry Wallace was even fending off questions about a possible contract extension, such was the momentum the tiges were building. At such an important part of the season, the Hawks should have comfortably beaten Richmond, stamping their authority on the competition. Instead, the Tigers led at every change, and ran out comfortable 29 point winners. Exactly 41 days later Hawthorn fans were celebrating an unlikely flag. Richmond supporters were speculating (foolishly) on how their team’s late season form would lead into glory in 2009.
The concept that a team’s round 22 form can lead into good round one form 6 months later is complete folly, as proven by Richmond. In the same way, the idea that Collingwood’s sparkling round 8 form improves their chances of a premiership later in the year is naive. The best thing about Collingwood’s form right now is that the team can maybe afford to lose games later in the year and still finish top four. A football season is much like a football game. Momentum swings are inevitable, and the pies will no doubt lose some of their current form before the finals, be it due to injuries or top players simply losing from. Whether they can regain it is the most important thing. As Geelong found out in 2008, and StKilda in 2009, maintaining brilliant form for the whole year, culminating in a flag, is practically impossible.
Round 20, 2008. Hawthorn sits second on the ladder and has a full strength team, one remarkably similar to the group that received premiership medals over a month later. In fact their starting 18 consisted of 18 soon to be premiership players. As a tune up for the finals, the Hawks took on 10 th placed Richmond. The Tigers were surging, again, towards an inevitable 9th place, giving their hungry fans a short look at the finals and another number 8 draft pick. Incredibly, then coach Terry Wallace was even fending off questions about a possible contract extension, such was the momentum the tiges were building. At such an important part of the season, the Hawks should have comfortably beaten Richmond, stamping their authority on the competition. Instead, the Tigers led at every change, and ran out comfortable 29 point winners. Exactly 41 days later Hawthorn fans were celebrating an unlikely flag. Richmond supporters were speculating (foolishly) on how their team’s late season form would lead into glory in 2009.
The concept that a team’s round 22 form can lead into good round one form 6 months later is complete folly, as proven by Richmond. In the same way, the idea that Collingwood’s sparkling round 8 form improves their chances of a premiership later in the year is naive. The best thing about Collingwood’s form right now is that the team can maybe afford to lose games later in the year and still finish top four. A football season is much like a football game. Momentum swings are inevitable, and the pies will no doubt lose some of their current form before the finals, be it due to injuries or top players simply losing from. Whether they can regain it is the most important thing. As Geelong found out in 2008, and StKilda in 2009, maintaining brilliant form for the whole year, culminating in a flag, is practically impossible.
Lies, Damn Lies, AFL commentary
The following article was published on thebigtip.com.au on 13 May 2010
It was about 30 years ago that a visionary dad approached the quarter time huddle at his kid’s country under 15 game. To the slightly bemused crowd he said: “I’ve taken two types of statistics. Kicks… And shit kicks”. He was way ahead of his time.
It’s a tough business recruiting, and it’s only going to get tougher. With two new teams coming, all the talk is of recruiters searching far and wide for decent players. Country leagues. Amateur leagues. New Zealand. China. And of course in other codes. Kevin Sheedy’s comments that code swapping will become common place in the next decade are ill-conceived. His comparison to ordinary people changing industries and jobs over their career is also rather naive. He overlooks the fact that professional footballers are trained in very specific skills, have relatively short careers, and do not generally have a long time to acqure the new skills. Players who have played football for long periods during their childhood have inherent decision making skills that are not easy for a mature age player to attain. As clubs and their coaches emphasise relentless pressure on opposition as the first step to winning games, decision making skills are all-important. Turnovers, the result of such pressure, often result in goals, so ball handling and even more importantly kicking skills, are of extreme importance. To suggest that a rugby player, who has barely spent any of his adult life kicking an Australian football, can pick up these kicking skills to reach AFL standard is something of an insult to those who have spent their lives perfecting (or trying to perfect) the art. Other skills such as judging a high ball in flight and bending at full speed to pick up an oval ball are also very hard to learn, even for an elite athlete.
Paying a rugby player huge money to change to AFL is a similar insult and also quite short-sighted. I challenge the idea that paying this money is worth it in sheer marketing terms. Saturation news coverage may be beneficial at the beginning. But if this player turns out not to reach the standard required to successfully play AFL and moves back to rugby after two years, the supporters of the club will be justifiably annoyed that the cash was not spent on a player with an AFL background. The negative coverage that this will generate could be quite damaging to the club and it’s ‘brand’. If any publicity is good publicity clubs can easily contrive a booze cruise scandal and let the media go on a typical feeding frenzy. If this marketing coup is supposed to attract rugby fans to Aussie Rules, simply imagine if an AFL player switched to rugby. Would real AFL supporters follow a player and begin watching another code? Emphatically no. Finally, the recruitment of a player from another code on an inflated salary may also anger players who feel that the recruit has not yet earnt his large pay packet. This disgruntlement could influence player performance and morale.
It was about 30 years ago that a visionary dad approached the quarter time huddle at his kid’s country under 15 game. To the slightly bemused crowd he said: “I’ve taken two types of statistics. Kicks… And shit kicks”. He was way ahead of his time.
It’s a tough business recruiting, and it’s only going to get tougher. With two new teams coming, all the talk is of recruiters searching far and wide for decent players. Country leagues. Amateur leagues. New Zealand. China. And of course in other codes. Kevin Sheedy’s comments that code swapping will become common place in the next decade are ill-conceived. His comparison to ordinary people changing industries and jobs over their career is also rather naive. He overlooks the fact that professional footballers are trained in very specific skills, have relatively short careers, and do not generally have a long time to acqure the new skills. Players who have played football for long periods during their childhood have inherent decision making skills that are not easy for a mature age player to attain. As clubs and their coaches emphasise relentless pressure on opposition as the first step to winning games, decision making skills are all-important. Turnovers, the result of such pressure, often result in goals, so ball handling and even more importantly kicking skills, are of extreme importance. To suggest that a rugby player, who has barely spent any of his adult life kicking an Australian football, can pick up these kicking skills to reach AFL standard is something of an insult to those who have spent their lives perfecting (or trying to perfect) the art. Other skills such as judging a high ball in flight and bending at full speed to pick up an oval ball are also very hard to learn, even for an elite athlete.
Paying a rugby player huge money to change to AFL is a similar insult and also quite short-sighted. I challenge the idea that paying this money is worth it in sheer marketing terms. Saturation news coverage may be beneficial at the beginning. But if this player turns out not to reach the standard required to successfully play AFL and moves back to rugby after two years, the supporters of the club will be justifiably annoyed that the cash was not spent on a player with an AFL background. The negative coverage that this will generate could be quite damaging to the club and it’s ‘brand’. If any publicity is good publicity clubs can easily contrive a booze cruise scandal and let the media go on a typical feeding frenzy. If this marketing coup is supposed to attract rugby fans to Aussie Rules, simply imagine if an AFL player switched to rugby. Would real AFL supporters follow a player and begin watching another code? Emphatically no. Finally, the recruitment of a player from another code on an inflated salary may also anger players who feel that the recruit has not yet earnt his large pay packet. This disgruntlement could influence player performance and morale.
Slap on the right wrist, palm grease on the left
The following article was published on thebigtip.com.au on 7 May 2010
“Gambling is an issue for sport worldwide, and that is why we take it so seriously.” Adrian Anderson
We bloody well should. Where government, church and community fails, there is our great social leader, the AFL. The moral compass of good and bad. Brutal judge of anti-social behaviour and shameless self promoter of goodness all around. The AFL has done some great things for social progress over the years and should be commended. This Friday’s field of women is a good example. The leagues extremely harsh reaction to AFL or club staff betting on games is also reasonable, considering what betting has done to other sports. Gambling is poisonous when done by players and people who can influence games. But gambling done by fans for their own enjoyment is totally legal, despite how it affects the lives of the gamblers. The AFL stands on a pedastal on a number of issues and does its best to promote what is best for society. One example is the leagues condmenation of the binge drinking culture that prevails in many of Australia’s football clubs. Getting extremely drunk is not a crime, but doing it sometimes leads to a negative impact on ones life. The AFL felt the need to address this issue, though it has no parliamentary obligation to do so. So if the AFL is determined to improve the lives of people involved in football by reducing extreme drunkeness, where does it stand on another of society’s acknowledged ills, gambling?
Setanta O'hAilpin, Carlton Blues, vs Collingwood, Sportsbetting advertisingThe promotion of gambling in AFL related television, radio, and other media outlets has grown markedly this season, so that even non-gamblers must be aware of the pervasive influence sports betting now has on AFL. The worst website in the world, afl.com.au has a sporadically openable feature called gameday, which displays live betting odds for viewers, encouraging betting. Radio stations often throw to betting agency people for live reports on odds fluctuations before and during games. Even so-called journalists investigating Jonothan Brown’s mysterious stomach ailment got their quotes from a betting agency spokesman who questioned Brown’s integrity should his comments prove to be wrong. Betting agency logos are even presented on the most sacred AFL symbol, the mighty Sherrin football.
“Gambling is an issue for sport worldwide, and that is why we take it so seriously.” Adrian Anderson
We bloody well should. Where government, church and community fails, there is our great social leader, the AFL. The moral compass of good and bad. Brutal judge of anti-social behaviour and shameless self promoter of goodness all around. The AFL has done some great things for social progress over the years and should be commended. This Friday’s field of women is a good example. The leagues extremely harsh reaction to AFL or club staff betting on games is also reasonable, considering what betting has done to other sports. Gambling is poisonous when done by players and people who can influence games. But gambling done by fans for their own enjoyment is totally legal, despite how it affects the lives of the gamblers. The AFL stands on a pedastal on a number of issues and does its best to promote what is best for society. One example is the leagues condmenation of the binge drinking culture that prevails in many of Australia’s football clubs. Getting extremely drunk is not a crime, but doing it sometimes leads to a negative impact on ones life. The AFL felt the need to address this issue, though it has no parliamentary obligation to do so. So if the AFL is determined to improve the lives of people involved in football by reducing extreme drunkeness, where does it stand on another of society’s acknowledged ills, gambling?
Setanta O'hAilpin, Carlton Blues, vs Collingwood, Sportsbetting advertisingThe promotion of gambling in AFL related television, radio, and other media outlets has grown markedly this season, so that even non-gamblers must be aware of the pervasive influence sports betting now has on AFL. The worst website in the world, afl.com.au has a sporadically openable feature called gameday, which displays live betting odds for viewers, encouraging betting. Radio stations often throw to betting agency people for live reports on odds fluctuations before and during games. Even so-called journalists investigating Jonothan Brown’s mysterious stomach ailment got their quotes from a betting agency spokesman who questioned Brown’s integrity should his comments prove to be wrong. Betting agency logos are even presented on the most sacred AFL symbol, the mighty Sherrin football.
Those sweet nights, those perfect games
The following article was published on thebigtip.com.au on April 30, 2010
He sat deep in the stands on a late winter night as waves of emotion overcame him. The field below, the scene of something scarcely believable just a few minutes earlier, was now devoid of life. Lights shining on emptiness. As families around him shuffled towards the exits, he finally sat down. The last few bars of the club song had drained his every last drop of energy. For a moment, suddenly, he needed to be alone, to block it all out. So he buried his head in his hands and cried. A few seconds later he lifted his head up, eyes red and tired. This was the line between pleasure and pain and it was all blurry. Around him people were confused. What happened? Isn’t this what you wanted? Was this not a scene of famous victory? The sort of victory you will remember for a lifetime but others will forget within weeks. Wasn’t being at games like this the reason you bought your membership? These weren’t tears of joy or pain but something unexplainable. Tears of pure emotion, pure exhaustion. They’d played their final series a month too early. Taken their supporters high then low then through sheer will dragged them back to the top again for a final glimpse. And that was it. Even heading into the finals everyone was exhausted. And they were gone the next week, and no one really remembers it.
HE sat in an internet cafe deep in a southern Chinese province and ate KFC and inhaled the smoke of cheap Chinese cigarettes. For 25 minutes he watched a slow line sneak across a screen symbolising events taking place half a world away. Finally the radio kicked in and a voice could give human life to something that didn’t feel quite real. They stayed with them for the first half, selling false hope to people who would never buy it again. Well maybe just a little bit. Half time was a reality check. This wasn’t gonna happen. Why would it? But he went back inside anyway and a kid nearly spat on his foot and it was on. They stayed with them in the third and the crowd lifted a little. Only the real supporters were still there during those dark times. The rest had their excuses. And the commentators sensed something. He could feel it too. Things were happening that didn’t usually happen. But someone so versed in disappointment didn’t fall in that easy. When they were still up with less than 10 minutes to go he reassessed, and hoped silently, treachorously, for some equilibrium. This didn’t need to happen. It wasn’t going to happen. The enemy kicked two in a minute and it was over. He threw the headphones at the screen. It was lacklustre rage at best like a poor actor in a poor movie. He just couldn’t summon it anymore. Not after this long. It even felt like relief. Then he picked up the headphones and listened again because he never left early, home or away. They had one last crack. Went forward. Marked. Goaled. The other team burst from the centre to snatch it back, but the backline was a flood. They held their nerve. Won it. He roared. Turned every head. Got up and walked back into those strange streets and it felt like it never happened because nobody else understood. And no one really remembers it.
Brad Green, Joel MacDonald, Melbourne Demons, celebrate, win, victoryIT was still warm in April and they took the train to the ‘g thinking, unbelievably, about 3 in a row. And it’s what they got. It was just one of those nights when every tackle sticks, when players are constanly bombing goals from 50 and umpires are paying easy frees. You lead at every change but the other team still has a sniff at three quarter time. Rather than shattering every nerve in every supporters body like before, this time you put the visitors to the torch and win by 8 goals. You don’t have a bad player on the field and the next day you can finally read the newspaper without avoiding your teams match report. Flags or finals or years of nothing these are the games you have to hold onto. You have to enjoy it. Or you’ll get nothing at all. Those sweet nights. Those perfect games.
In the bad times, those memories are what you have. What you have to remember, and what you have to look forward to. Essendon fans calling for Matthew Knights’ head might look back to last year and think about giving the guy a break. They did win a number of big games as underdogs against despised local rivals. Same gameplan, similar players. For clubs that are somehow living the opposite of Knights’ horror run (you know who I mean!), it’s time to enjoy the good times. Viewing a game and actually expecting, no demanding, to win is a wholly foreign concept and getting used to it should be one of life’s great pleasures. Ask Geelong supporters. Oh well not anymore.
He sat deep in the stands on a late winter night as waves of emotion overcame him. The field below, the scene of something scarcely believable just a few minutes earlier, was now devoid of life. Lights shining on emptiness. As families around him shuffled towards the exits, he finally sat down. The last few bars of the club song had drained his every last drop of energy. For a moment, suddenly, he needed to be alone, to block it all out. So he buried his head in his hands and cried. A few seconds later he lifted his head up, eyes red and tired. This was the line between pleasure and pain and it was all blurry. Around him people were confused. What happened? Isn’t this what you wanted? Was this not a scene of famous victory? The sort of victory you will remember for a lifetime but others will forget within weeks. Wasn’t being at games like this the reason you bought your membership? These weren’t tears of joy or pain but something unexplainable. Tears of pure emotion, pure exhaustion. They’d played their final series a month too early. Taken their supporters high then low then through sheer will dragged them back to the top again for a final glimpse. And that was it. Even heading into the finals everyone was exhausted. And they were gone the next week, and no one really remembers it.
HE sat in an internet cafe deep in a southern Chinese province and ate KFC and inhaled the smoke of cheap Chinese cigarettes. For 25 minutes he watched a slow line sneak across a screen symbolising events taking place half a world away. Finally the radio kicked in and a voice could give human life to something that didn’t feel quite real. They stayed with them for the first half, selling false hope to people who would never buy it again. Well maybe just a little bit. Half time was a reality check. This wasn’t gonna happen. Why would it? But he went back inside anyway and a kid nearly spat on his foot and it was on. They stayed with them in the third and the crowd lifted a little. Only the real supporters were still there during those dark times. The rest had their excuses. And the commentators sensed something. He could feel it too. Things were happening that didn’t usually happen. But someone so versed in disappointment didn’t fall in that easy. When they were still up with less than 10 minutes to go he reassessed, and hoped silently, treachorously, for some equilibrium. This didn’t need to happen. It wasn’t going to happen. The enemy kicked two in a minute and it was over. He threw the headphones at the screen. It was lacklustre rage at best like a poor actor in a poor movie. He just couldn’t summon it anymore. Not after this long. It even felt like relief. Then he picked up the headphones and listened again because he never left early, home or away. They had one last crack. Went forward. Marked. Goaled. The other team burst from the centre to snatch it back, but the backline was a flood. They held their nerve. Won it. He roared. Turned every head. Got up and walked back into those strange streets and it felt like it never happened because nobody else understood. And no one really remembers it.
Brad Green, Joel MacDonald, Melbourne Demons, celebrate, win, victoryIT was still warm in April and they took the train to the ‘g thinking, unbelievably, about 3 in a row. And it’s what they got. It was just one of those nights when every tackle sticks, when players are constanly bombing goals from 50 and umpires are paying easy frees. You lead at every change but the other team still has a sniff at three quarter time. Rather than shattering every nerve in every supporters body like before, this time you put the visitors to the torch and win by 8 goals. You don’t have a bad player on the field and the next day you can finally read the newspaper without avoiding your teams match report. Flags or finals or years of nothing these are the games you have to hold onto. You have to enjoy it. Or you’ll get nothing at all. Those sweet nights. Those perfect games.
In the bad times, those memories are what you have. What you have to remember, and what you have to look forward to. Essendon fans calling for Matthew Knights’ head might look back to last year and think about giving the guy a break. They did win a number of big games as underdogs against despised local rivals. Same gameplan, similar players. For clubs that are somehow living the opposite of Knights’ horror run (you know who I mean!), it’s time to enjoy the good times. Viewing a game and actually expecting, no demanding, to win is a wholly foreign concept and getting used to it should be one of life’s great pleasures. Ask Geelong supporters. Oh well not anymore.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
I don't sit on no fence
This article was published on www.thebigtip.com.au on April 22, 2010
Mate. Think what’s expected of you, of your friends. What’s expected of you by your boss. Challenge those expectations. Man, you should challenge your own ideas about the world every day. Every day…
And so watchers of football do. We have no choice but to. The once solid foundations of our core belief system have been shattered by such random occurrences as Fremantle beating Geelong and Melbourne beating Adelaide. The majority of us can rest assured that our analyses and predictions, though seeming infallible and unbreakable when spoken, are lost in a cacophony of meaningless barroom chatter. Most of us are not accountable for our folly. Those that do publish their inner beliefs, that selflessly commit their thoughts to paper, stand as a target for ridicule, their brittle crediblity intact only until their next hypothesis is proven pathetically wrong.
But I don’t sit on no fence.
It’s how one reacts to the shattering of said belief systems that counts. How does a Fremantle supporter react to weekly match-of-the-round status and hard fought wins over last year’s premiers? Usually with a pompous strut around the office (or dock), much too much early talk of finals, and thoughts of new contract negotiations. Fremantle’s history of incredible underachievement and capitulation under pressure should have left it’s supporters with a morbid streak, but for some reason hasn’t. New messiah Mark Harvey would do well to put contract talks, and the Freo hype machine, on permanent hold until his team does something of substance, like play in a final. The response of Melbourne supporters is indicative of a group of people who know too well sustained periods of failure (46 years). The first response was to dust off the MCC card and jacket and tie, make an appearance at the ‘G, and live up to the stereotype. One commentator mentioned Melbourne fans turning up to Sunday’s game fashionably late. It wasn't fashion, just that the last time they went to the footy games started at 2 pm, not 1. (why do games start at 1?) For the hardcore Melbourne fans who have emotionally invested in the last three seasons of agony, there is a strange feeling of panic as the team seemingly stands on the brink of success. The solidarity felt by those supporters who went through the hard times together is suddenly fractured by returning (fairweather) supporters keen to bask in the sun. How does a person suddenly swap failure for success when said failure shaped his very self?
Fear of success is probably not that healthy. A good psychiatrist might suggest just packing it in and moving to Sydney. You can go to the movies and go shopping in Bondi on Saturday afternoons instead of going to the Royal Hotel and the MCG. According to Colonial/Telstra/Etihad stadium cheif Ian Collins “on Saturday afternoon people want to go shopping or the movies or watch their children play sport.” That’s why the MCG hardly has any games there at that time (9 out of a possible 22). The fact that the AFL makes more money from TV rights and people spend more money at night games has nothing to do with it. We’d all rather be down at Chaddy watching a flick with all the bogans. It’s the chicken and the egg. The AFL’s gross assumptions about its customer base are wearing thin, and claims that match attendances take priority over all other things are laughable and a little bit condescending.
So too are claims that Mum’s all over the nation dictate the future success of and participation in our sport (huge shout out to Mum!). A fact of human nature is that a great percentage of boys and young men enjoy aggressive and physical sports. It was not that long ago that generations of young men were involved in much more dangerous combative pursuits. With this in mind it would be good to see the constant god-playing and rule tinkering by administrators put on hold for a season, at least until their assumptions are backed up by solid market research.
As my year 8 school master once said in a moment of rare clarity: Never Assume. It makes an ass of u and me.
The writer of this article does go for Melbourne, did go to a private school, and is an MCC member. Does not, however, have a range rover, or work for a bank or as a lawyer. Cannot ski.
Mate. Think what’s expected of you, of your friends. What’s expected of you by your boss. Challenge those expectations. Man, you should challenge your own ideas about the world every day. Every day…
And so watchers of football do. We have no choice but to. The once solid foundations of our core belief system have been shattered by such random occurrences as Fremantle beating Geelong and Melbourne beating Adelaide. The majority of us can rest assured that our analyses and predictions, though seeming infallible and unbreakable when spoken, are lost in a cacophony of meaningless barroom chatter. Most of us are not accountable for our folly. Those that do publish their inner beliefs, that selflessly commit their thoughts to paper, stand as a target for ridicule, their brittle crediblity intact only until their next hypothesis is proven pathetically wrong.
But I don’t sit on no fence.
It’s how one reacts to the shattering of said belief systems that counts. How does a Fremantle supporter react to weekly match-of-the-round status and hard fought wins over last year’s premiers? Usually with a pompous strut around the office (or dock), much too much early talk of finals, and thoughts of new contract negotiations. Fremantle’s history of incredible underachievement and capitulation under pressure should have left it’s supporters with a morbid streak, but for some reason hasn’t. New messiah Mark Harvey would do well to put contract talks, and the Freo hype machine, on permanent hold until his team does something of substance, like play in a final. The response of Melbourne supporters is indicative of a group of people who know too well sustained periods of failure (46 years). The first response was to dust off the MCC card and jacket and tie, make an appearance at the ‘G, and live up to the stereotype. One commentator mentioned Melbourne fans turning up to Sunday’s game fashionably late. It wasn't fashion, just that the last time they went to the footy games started at 2 pm, not 1. (why do games start at 1?) For the hardcore Melbourne fans who have emotionally invested in the last three seasons of agony, there is a strange feeling of panic as the team seemingly stands on the brink of success. The solidarity felt by those supporters who went through the hard times together is suddenly fractured by returning (fairweather) supporters keen to bask in the sun. How does a person suddenly swap failure for success when said failure shaped his very self?
Fear of success is probably not that healthy. A good psychiatrist might suggest just packing it in and moving to Sydney. You can go to the movies and go shopping in Bondi on Saturday afternoons instead of going to the Royal Hotel and the MCG. According to Colonial/Telstra/Etihad stadium cheif Ian Collins “on Saturday afternoon people want to go shopping or the movies or watch their children play sport.” That’s why the MCG hardly has any games there at that time (9 out of a possible 22). The fact that the AFL makes more money from TV rights and people spend more money at night games has nothing to do with it. We’d all rather be down at Chaddy watching a flick with all the bogans. It’s the chicken and the egg. The AFL’s gross assumptions about its customer base are wearing thin, and claims that match attendances take priority over all other things are laughable and a little bit condescending.
So too are claims that Mum’s all over the nation dictate the future success of and participation in our sport (huge shout out to Mum!). A fact of human nature is that a great percentage of boys and young men enjoy aggressive and physical sports. It was not that long ago that generations of young men were involved in much more dangerous combative pursuits. With this in mind it would be good to see the constant god-playing and rule tinkering by administrators put on hold for a season, at least until their assumptions are backed up by solid market research.
As my year 8 school master once said in a moment of rare clarity: Never Assume. It makes an ass of u and me.
The writer of this article does go for Melbourne, did go to a private school, and is an MCC member. Does not, however, have a range rover, or work for a bank or as a lawyer. Cannot ski.
The Result... Only the Result
Ths article was published on www.thebigtip.com.au on 7 April 2010
There was to be no Easter miracle
Just reality’s harshest truth
They climbed towards the pinnacle
But were stopped by a black and white proof:
There are no miracles. No reasons. Things just happen…
There is nothing like a red wine hangover and a Monday morning to make a man reflect on life. Alcohol: that cliched and somewhat pathetic response to tragedy. Time worn and well proven. And in the cold harsh dirty light of a Monday, perspective brings no relief and the incidents of the weekend remain, without exaggeration, tragic.
How is it to approach a game with only apathy and absolutely no reasonable hope of victory? How is it to have those hopes raised moment by disbelieving moment, to have them build relentlessly to a violent crescendo and then have them mercilessly obliterated? It’s not very good. That’s how it is. The objective and impartial reviews of the Melbourne Collingwood game note Melbourne’s gallantness, improved ball use and general playing skills, and lack of luck. Luck having the habit of betraying those that need it most. But such reviews, though useful, do not fully capture or describe the emotional pain that such a game caused, and is still causing, real Melbourne supporters. For this game, destined to be soon forgotten by history, is what true supporters will point to when the team finally realises success in the years to come.
Did AFL clubs carry out cloning experiments two decades ago that resulted in the birth of large groups of identical twins with excellent hand-eye coordination and motor skills? Was this incident withheld from the public and did these twins secretly end up at various AFL clubs? Did Mark Jamar’s incompetent twin play in round one only to be replaced by his older-by-5 minutes but way better player brother? Did the same thing happen with Lynden Dunn, Joel MacDonald, Michael Newton, James Frawley and Cameron Bruce? Did Mick Malthouse rest the original Heath Shaw, Leon Davis, Nick Maxwell, Travis Cloke and play the crap twin?
Jokes aside, the form reversal of players in both teams was truly remarkable. MacDonald’s first game for Melbourne was utterly poor. He was a completely different player this week and his recruitment may pay dividends. Newton and Jamar have displayed about 5 seasons each of startling mediocrity, but remain on the list because there is simply no one better to replace them. Jamar’s performance was definitely the most astonishing of the game. The most used but most useless statistic in football is the ruck hitouts. So often one team wins the hit outs but can’t win a clearance. So how did Mark Jamar, Demon whipping boy of dubious Eastern European heritage, contrive to destroy Darren Jolly and Josh Fraser, winning numerous taps and directing the ball straight on to the lap of a moving teammate? There is no reason. It just happened.
For all their cockiness and legitimate premiership hopes, the Pies have some weaknesses. Jolly is not the next coming of Christ, just a good hardworking ruckman. Ask Jamar. Luke Ball is too slow to tag a genuinely fast midfielder. Ask Davey. Heath Shaw plays loose and isn’t that quick. Ask Petterd (new favourite player anyone?). Leon Davis is a frontrunner and couldn't handle the Demon pressure. Cloke is erratic and out of form. Offended Collingwood supporters can point to the match result in rebuttal, with good reason. Some analysts may say that for Melbourne and its players, the result is really not that important. The courage and aptitude shown is reward enough, despite the loss. That is rubbish.
Melbourne fans who rode all the way, who saw obscure teenagers perform feats of heroism, and who saw victory disappear in the most brutal way can only concur: It’s about the result. Only the result. God we need a win.
*The author would like to formally apologise to Mark Jamar for bagging him for years.
There was to be no Easter miracle
Just reality’s harshest truth
They climbed towards the pinnacle
But were stopped by a black and white proof:
There are no miracles. No reasons. Things just happen…
There is nothing like a red wine hangover and a Monday morning to make a man reflect on life. Alcohol: that cliched and somewhat pathetic response to tragedy. Time worn and well proven. And in the cold harsh dirty light of a Monday, perspective brings no relief and the incidents of the weekend remain, without exaggeration, tragic.
How is it to approach a game with only apathy and absolutely no reasonable hope of victory? How is it to have those hopes raised moment by disbelieving moment, to have them build relentlessly to a violent crescendo and then have them mercilessly obliterated? It’s not very good. That’s how it is. The objective and impartial reviews of the Melbourne Collingwood game note Melbourne’s gallantness, improved ball use and general playing skills, and lack of luck. Luck having the habit of betraying those that need it most. But such reviews, though useful, do not fully capture or describe the emotional pain that such a game caused, and is still causing, real Melbourne supporters. For this game, destined to be soon forgotten by history, is what true supporters will point to when the team finally realises success in the years to come.
Did AFL clubs carry out cloning experiments two decades ago that resulted in the birth of large groups of identical twins with excellent hand-eye coordination and motor skills? Was this incident withheld from the public and did these twins secretly end up at various AFL clubs? Did Mark Jamar’s incompetent twin play in round one only to be replaced by his older-by-5 minutes but way better player brother? Did the same thing happen with Lynden Dunn, Joel MacDonald, Michael Newton, James Frawley and Cameron Bruce? Did Mick Malthouse rest the original Heath Shaw, Leon Davis, Nick Maxwell, Travis Cloke and play the crap twin?
Jokes aside, the form reversal of players in both teams was truly remarkable. MacDonald’s first game for Melbourne was utterly poor. He was a completely different player this week and his recruitment may pay dividends. Newton and Jamar have displayed about 5 seasons each of startling mediocrity, but remain on the list because there is simply no one better to replace them. Jamar’s performance was definitely the most astonishing of the game. The most used but most useless statistic in football is the ruck hitouts. So often one team wins the hit outs but can’t win a clearance. So how did Mark Jamar, Demon whipping boy of dubious Eastern European heritage, contrive to destroy Darren Jolly and Josh Fraser, winning numerous taps and directing the ball straight on to the lap of a moving teammate? There is no reason. It just happened.
For all their cockiness and legitimate premiership hopes, the Pies have some weaknesses. Jolly is not the next coming of Christ, just a good hardworking ruckman. Ask Jamar. Luke Ball is too slow to tag a genuinely fast midfielder. Ask Davey. Heath Shaw plays loose and isn’t that quick. Ask Petterd (new favourite player anyone?). Leon Davis is a frontrunner and couldn't handle the Demon pressure. Cloke is erratic and out of form. Offended Collingwood supporters can point to the match result in rebuttal, with good reason. Some analysts may say that for Melbourne and its players, the result is really not that important. The courage and aptitude shown is reward enough, despite the loss. That is rubbish.
Melbourne fans who rode all the way, who saw obscure teenagers perform feats of heroism, and who saw victory disappear in the most brutal way can only concur: It’s about the result. Only the result. God we need a win.
*The author would like to formally apologise to Mark Jamar for bagging him for years.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
The act is in the push…(Going into bat for big bad bustling Barrence)
Sandy Roberts may not have coined the moronic phrase ‘big bad bustling barry’ but he did use it every time Barry Hall went near the ball. Thankfully Sandy is gone.
Being a great marking forward isn’t just about speed or strength. It’s not how high you can jump or how much you can bench. It’s about judgement. Judging the trajectory and distance of a kick. It’s about timing. Timing a lead. If it’s too early your teammate may not be ready to kick it to you. If it’s too late he will go to someone else. Most of all it’s about balance. A great marking forward seizes the moment where his opponent is off balance and nudges him out of the way. Great forwards can work their opponent under the ball before it is kicked toward them. Then as the defender struggles to move backward and loses his balance, the forward can easily bump his opponent out of position and take an easy mark.
In the past, a forward would use his hands to balance himself. He would sometimes place his hands on his opponents back and use his own backside to nudge the opponent out of position. For some reason, the AFL rulemakers decided that this mere placement of the hands in the back was against the rules. It has since been outlawed. The rule name, to the common punter, is push in the back. To us, the people that watch endless games and line the pockets of administrators, if there is no push, the rule is not broken. To us, simply putting your hand on someone’s back is not a free kick. Pushing someone’s back is. As the AFL indulges in endless ‘back-patting’ sessions (pun) and parries statistics of its success, do they think about the common punter sitting in a bar trying to explain this pathetic rule interpretation to a curious foreigner (Sydneysider?). We the common punter will defend our game to the death but I cannot, and will not, defend this rule. I can’t. I won’t.
So it is strange that Lord Demetriou, in one of his all too regular comments on a current football topic, bemoans the nearly complete demise of Barry Hall. Says He:
I'd love to see him playing again because we need tough players playing our game,"
I assume he means we need tough players so we can suspend them and fine them and gradually weed them out and make ourselves look useful. Image being everything. Hall is (was) the ultimate body player. While his large, pasty biceps may attract much of the focus (of me at least), it is indeed the use of his bottom and hips that makes him such a great marking forward. He really has a great ability to work his opponent under the ball. But Demetriou’s stupid and obsessive rule-changing has had a visible affect on Hall’s game, and the more free kicks he gives away the more likely he is to have another ‘brain snap’ (another silly new word for the AFL lexicon. How can a brain snap??? It could explode, or implode, or fail, or even fade, but I don’t see how it could snap). Alas, Hall has left Sydney and his football career hangs by a thread. He may not be calling Andy and thanking him for the new rules, and the support. But he can always move over to boxing, so maybe he will. Which to me seems quite incredible. Hall, by all reports, was a fabulous and formidable junior boxer, and he definitely has vast reserves of easily accessible rage needed to be good at the sport. But is it true to state that he has not really practiced this sport seriously for the past 12 years? How then can he, at 32 (the age that makes him too old for AFL), begin his professional boxing career? Is this not the same as a promising young footballer who becomes a champion boxer and then, at 30, decides to join the AFL? Sure he has done a few pre-seasons over the years and had a kick in between boxing workouts, but would an AFL club take him? Call me a cynic, but are there dollar signs in promoters’ eyes.
Jeff Kennett could be a boxing promoter. He works on the idea that if you keep talking constantly between all the rubbish you say there will be some nuggets of wisdom (he is a real mentor of mine). It’s up to poor journalists to weed them out. In another not too subtle dig at league headquarters, he opined quite profoundly that
success is not always about how much money you make or how many viewers you have.
I think Andy and the boys would disagree. Success is only about how much money you make and how many viewers you have. We are selling a product, after all, Jeffrey. In the marketplace… The AFL’s concession that it made scheduling mistakes was conveniently shadowed with insinuations that other parties were at fault. Like all good politcians, no mention was made of having to play the StKilda Geelong game at Colonial Stadium, but we all know the claim that people going to the footy are more important than fatties on the couch is pure rubbish. Fat bums on couches baby.
Kennett is a great sage in these confusing, intellectually barren times. He is refreshingly frank and sometimes quite original. But he, like most of us, sometimes confuses originalty with straight-up stupidity. Like John Harms. John…. Johnny, Johnny, Johnny. Be a Geelong supporter, by all means. But don’t write an article that claims Geelong supporters are smart when said article provides overwhelming evidence that Geelong supporters are, in FACT, idiots. Newspaper articles, as opposed to internet fluff composed by dumb and bored netizens, are printed and kept by old ladies in living room drawers. For eternity. Thus the printed word will follow you to your grave (mine can be deleted in a moment). John, an experienced journalist no doubt aware of this, included this line in his article:
http://www.theage.com.au/news/rfnews/we-are-geelong-the-greatest-team-and-example-to-all/2009/07/21/1247941916391.html
‘Were Shakespeare living now, he'd be writing plays about Geelong,’
and this:
‘The world has never seen, in any place, at any time in history, a finer people than Geelong people.’
They are just bogans…Leave the silly human interest articles to our favourite eccentric Bob Murphy (he’s a football player and he has a mind. Wow!!!). He has an excuse.
Dean Bailey does not. Previously praised in these pages, the dees coach is about to make a big mistake. Says he, in reference to talk of tanking and its affects on match day activities for the remainder of the season
“it's not going to change what we do, it's not going to change our focus,"
I’m sure it won’t. But as explained in these pages before, tanking can be done in many ways. Read Melbourne’s omissions:
Out: McLean (Knee), Jamar (Quad), Green (Scaphoid), Grimes (Back),
Robertson
Convenient injuries to : only half decent ruckman in career best form, last years b and f and best player. tough onballer and top five player... best young backman... and our experienced and decent key forward dropped....
This be some shameless sheet…
Being a great marking forward isn’t just about speed or strength. It’s not how high you can jump or how much you can bench. It’s about judgement. Judging the trajectory and distance of a kick. It’s about timing. Timing a lead. If it’s too early your teammate may not be ready to kick it to you. If it’s too late he will go to someone else. Most of all it’s about balance. A great marking forward seizes the moment where his opponent is off balance and nudges him out of the way. Great forwards can work their opponent under the ball before it is kicked toward them. Then as the defender struggles to move backward and loses his balance, the forward can easily bump his opponent out of position and take an easy mark.
In the past, a forward would use his hands to balance himself. He would sometimes place his hands on his opponents back and use his own backside to nudge the opponent out of position. For some reason, the AFL rulemakers decided that this mere placement of the hands in the back was against the rules. It has since been outlawed. The rule name, to the common punter, is push in the back. To us, the people that watch endless games and line the pockets of administrators, if there is no push, the rule is not broken. To us, simply putting your hand on someone’s back is not a free kick. Pushing someone’s back is. As the AFL indulges in endless ‘back-patting’ sessions (pun) and parries statistics of its success, do they think about the common punter sitting in a bar trying to explain this pathetic rule interpretation to a curious foreigner (Sydneysider?). We the common punter will defend our game to the death but I cannot, and will not, defend this rule. I can’t. I won’t.
So it is strange that Lord Demetriou, in one of his all too regular comments on a current football topic, bemoans the nearly complete demise of Barry Hall. Says He:
I'd love to see him playing again because we need tough players playing our game,"
I assume he means we need tough players so we can suspend them and fine them and gradually weed them out and make ourselves look useful. Image being everything. Hall is (was) the ultimate body player. While his large, pasty biceps may attract much of the focus (of me at least), it is indeed the use of his bottom and hips that makes him such a great marking forward. He really has a great ability to work his opponent under the ball. But Demetriou’s stupid and obsessive rule-changing has had a visible affect on Hall’s game, and the more free kicks he gives away the more likely he is to have another ‘brain snap’ (another silly new word for the AFL lexicon. How can a brain snap??? It could explode, or implode, or fail, or even fade, but I don’t see how it could snap). Alas, Hall has left Sydney and his football career hangs by a thread. He may not be calling Andy and thanking him for the new rules, and the support. But he can always move over to boxing, so maybe he will. Which to me seems quite incredible. Hall, by all reports, was a fabulous and formidable junior boxer, and he definitely has vast reserves of easily accessible rage needed to be good at the sport. But is it true to state that he has not really practiced this sport seriously for the past 12 years? How then can he, at 32 (the age that makes him too old for AFL), begin his professional boxing career? Is this not the same as a promising young footballer who becomes a champion boxer and then, at 30, decides to join the AFL? Sure he has done a few pre-seasons over the years and had a kick in between boxing workouts, but would an AFL club take him? Call me a cynic, but are there dollar signs in promoters’ eyes.
Jeff Kennett could be a boxing promoter. He works on the idea that if you keep talking constantly between all the rubbish you say there will be some nuggets of wisdom (he is a real mentor of mine). It’s up to poor journalists to weed them out. In another not too subtle dig at league headquarters, he opined quite profoundly that
success is not always about how much money you make or how many viewers you have.
I think Andy and the boys would disagree. Success is only about how much money you make and how many viewers you have. We are selling a product, after all, Jeffrey. In the marketplace… The AFL’s concession that it made scheduling mistakes was conveniently shadowed with insinuations that other parties were at fault. Like all good politcians, no mention was made of having to play the StKilda Geelong game at Colonial Stadium, but we all know the claim that people going to the footy are more important than fatties on the couch is pure rubbish. Fat bums on couches baby.
Kennett is a great sage in these confusing, intellectually barren times. He is refreshingly frank and sometimes quite original. But he, like most of us, sometimes confuses originalty with straight-up stupidity. Like John Harms. John…. Johnny, Johnny, Johnny. Be a Geelong supporter, by all means. But don’t write an article that claims Geelong supporters are smart when said article provides overwhelming evidence that Geelong supporters are, in FACT, idiots. Newspaper articles, as opposed to internet fluff composed by dumb and bored netizens, are printed and kept by old ladies in living room drawers. For eternity. Thus the printed word will follow you to your grave (mine can be deleted in a moment). John, an experienced journalist no doubt aware of this, included this line in his article:
http://www.theage.com.au/news/rfnews/we-are-geelong-the-greatest-team-and-example-to-all/2009/07/21/1247941916391.html
‘Were Shakespeare living now, he'd be writing plays about Geelong,’
and this:
‘The world has never seen, in any place, at any time in history, a finer people than Geelong people.’
They are just bogans…Leave the silly human interest articles to our favourite eccentric Bob Murphy (he’s a football player and he has a mind. Wow!!!). He has an excuse.
Dean Bailey does not. Previously praised in these pages, the dees coach is about to make a big mistake. Says he, in reference to talk of tanking and its affects on match day activities for the remainder of the season
“it's not going to change what we do, it's not going to change our focus,"
I’m sure it won’t. But as explained in these pages before, tanking can be done in many ways. Read Melbourne’s omissions:
Out: McLean (Knee), Jamar (Quad), Green (Scaphoid), Grimes (Back),
Robertson
Convenient injuries to : only half decent ruckman in career best form, last years b and f and best player. tough onballer and top five player... best young backman... and our experienced and decent key forward dropped....
This be some shameless sheet…
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Short memory...Must have a...
9 July 2009
Short memory, must have a…short memory. He might have been referring to the electorate but Peter Garrett could easily have been referring to the football industry. Or Mark Harvey. The coach of the worst club in the AFL. Harvey was an undersized centre half back who took on bigger opponents and beat them by throwing his body recklessly into packs. When the non-smiling Harvey took on the Dockers many people thought he would instil some heart and discipline into an underperforming club. Instead, it seems he has created the next generation of Freo frontrunners. The most used word in the AFL, rebuild, refers to a period of poor performance that follows a period of success and that leads to another period of success. Fremantle, under Harvey’s guidance, are rebuilding. The only problems is that, like Richmond, they never had success in the first place. They are forever building. Not rebuilding.
Maybe the Dockers need to get back to the old school. The school that Harvey grew up in and won premierships in. Maybe the players need to forget about structures, diet and watching game tapes. Maybe they need a night on the piss in Melbourne. Some time to forget about the boredom, discipline and rigid conformity of AFL football. That’s probably what Dean Solomon was doing when he stayed out drinking until 3am with an old teammate. He didn’t miss training. But he won’t play this week. Said reformed bad boy and now excrutiatingly boring coach Harvey:
“In this instance, Dean hasn't demonstrated the level of professionalism that we expect and require of a senior member of our playing group.”
Instead of trying to instil unreasonable levels of professionalism off the field the Dockers should try to instil some heart in the players on the field. And that might mean getting a new coach. Fremantle’s performances under Harvey have been quite pathetic. They still curl up and die as soon as they get behind. They still refuse to win in Melbourne. They still celebrate wins over West Coast like they are Grand Finals, even thought they mean nothing.
For the Melbourne media, driving an interstate club to coach sacking is not that juicy. Melbourne newspapers want Melbourne coaches to fall. Is that why The Age launched a conscious and unsuccessful campaign to have Mick Malthouse gone this year? Before Malthouse led the pies to a string of wins (quite a few of them interstate) established reporter Richard Hinds opined that: “it remains only to be seen whether the veteran coach (Malthouse) will move out of the nest or whether he will be asked to leave.” A little bit presumptuous?
Journalists know well the gold fish like memory of their readers. And it gives them the confidence to make silly predictions like Richard Hinds did. Fellow Age writer Greg Baum jumped to Terry Wallace’s defence after the Tigers courageously came back to lose against Port Adelaide. The very next day his own sports desk falsely reported Wallace’s sacking. The reporters don't know whether they are creating news or reporting it. But unless they are held acocuntable, they don’t really need to care.
This post was originally published before Fremantles capitulation in Adelaide.
Short memory, must have a…short memory. He might have been referring to the electorate but Peter Garrett could easily have been referring to the football industry. Or Mark Harvey. The coach of the worst club in the AFL. Harvey was an undersized centre half back who took on bigger opponents and beat them by throwing his body recklessly into packs. When the non-smiling Harvey took on the Dockers many people thought he would instil some heart and discipline into an underperforming club. Instead, it seems he has created the next generation of Freo frontrunners. The most used word in the AFL, rebuild, refers to a period of poor performance that follows a period of success and that leads to another period of success. Fremantle, under Harvey’s guidance, are rebuilding. The only problems is that, like Richmond, they never had success in the first place. They are forever building. Not rebuilding.
Maybe the Dockers need to get back to the old school. The school that Harvey grew up in and won premierships in. Maybe the players need to forget about structures, diet and watching game tapes. Maybe they need a night on the piss in Melbourne. Some time to forget about the boredom, discipline and rigid conformity of AFL football. That’s probably what Dean Solomon was doing when he stayed out drinking until 3am with an old teammate. He didn’t miss training. But he won’t play this week. Said reformed bad boy and now excrutiatingly boring coach Harvey:
“In this instance, Dean hasn't demonstrated the level of professionalism that we expect and require of a senior member of our playing group.”
Instead of trying to instil unreasonable levels of professionalism off the field the Dockers should try to instil some heart in the players on the field. And that might mean getting a new coach. Fremantle’s performances under Harvey have been quite pathetic. They still curl up and die as soon as they get behind. They still refuse to win in Melbourne. They still celebrate wins over West Coast like they are Grand Finals, even thought they mean nothing.
For the Melbourne media, driving an interstate club to coach sacking is not that juicy. Melbourne newspapers want Melbourne coaches to fall. Is that why The Age launched a conscious and unsuccessful campaign to have Mick Malthouse gone this year? Before Malthouse led the pies to a string of wins (quite a few of them interstate) established reporter Richard Hinds opined that: “it remains only to be seen whether the veteran coach (Malthouse) will move out of the nest or whether he will be asked to leave.” A little bit presumptuous?
Journalists know well the gold fish like memory of their readers. And it gives them the confidence to make silly predictions like Richard Hinds did. Fellow Age writer Greg Baum jumped to Terry Wallace’s defence after the Tigers courageously came back to lose against Port Adelaide. The very next day his own sports desk falsely reported Wallace’s sacking. The reporters don't know whether they are creating news or reporting it. But unless they are held acocuntable, they don’t really need to care.
This post was originally published before Fremantles capitulation in Adelaide.
A Bird in the hand thanks
I’m a Melbourne supporter. I’m similar to a Richmond supporter. Victory is a cruel novelty, sandwiched between weekly heartbreak and humiliation. I don't expect to win and I feel a strange guilt when we do. I and my fellow demon fans watch the football expecting pain. And that’s what we usually get. For Melbourne supporters, victory, like a stay of execution, is about relief. So like all humans suffering from long term pain, periods of respite, no matter how short, should be celebrated and enjoyed.
And so I feel the cruelty of humanity penetrate my true-beating heart as idle brains pursue the topic of ‘tanking’. The argument, quite simply, is that Melbourne should win one more game for the season and no more. To win two or more games would cost us a very high draft pick and most likely negatively affect our long term future. It is a reasonable argument. But sick. Melbourne are experiencing their biggest hot streak in 30 months. They have responded to the illness of their president and club legend with defiance and emotion. And victory. Finally they have given tired, hopeless supporters a glimmer of optimism. They may well go down to Kardinia with a swagger in their step and smash the Cats. But inevitably, the relief of a Melbourne supporter must be blackened by the pathetic pragmatism of the ‘long term future’ obsessed common man. Where, I ask you, does reason stop and romance begin? And for every person who has said in a time of frustration and despair: ‘live for today’. I ask, who has actually done so???.
Of course, most of the injustice of today’s world can be traced back to governing bodies that were not democratically elected. Bodies that pursue equality and provide eternal hope. Like the AFL. The priority draft pick system is honourable in theory but flawed in practice. It’s purpose is to assist the clubs that perform extremely badly, even though the draft already does this. In practice it rewards extreme failure and pathetic underacheivement. Some people would argue that it is even wrong for the bottom placed team to get the number one draft pick. That even this may be an incentive to lose and may lead to game-throwing. Most people would agree that the priority system will lead to, and has already led to, a form of game-throwing. The term game-throwing, or tanking, may conjure up images of Hanse Cronje and Indian bookmakers, but in the ever growing AFL dictionary, game throwing has morphed into a newer, honourable term, used ad nauseum in football circles: rebuilding.
Coaches don’t need to tell players to play poorly. They don’t need to have team meetings and talk about how to lose games. They can sleep soundly at night. Club leaders can face the media and sell the future, while ignoring the past. Play young players way before they are ready, to give them some experience. Play players out of position to test their versality. Drop older players because they may not be part of the team next year, even though they are part of the best 22 now. Make players have operations early, so they can start their preseason on time. All these tactics are logical and honourable. Clubs must look to the future. But whilst the result of these tactics may be losing games, the main reason for these tactics should never be to deliberately lose. At the moment it sometimes is. To create a situation where a club, let alone several clubs, gets a reward for losing, is, for want of a better phrase, a blight on the game. The draft system as it is now not only rewards failure but punishes success. Clubs like North Melbourne, Collingwood and Adelaide strive for the finals every year and, admirably, try to regenerate and be consistently successful, rather than rebuild at the first sign of poor form.
The priority draft pick system has been criticised for a long time, and no real changes have been made. It should have been abolished years ago. Clubs are fielding poor teams and happily losing games every year. The draft system also needs to be changed. Perhaps the ladder needs to be split into 4 groups, so the bottom placed team doesn’t automatically get the first pick. It may well get the 4th pick, depending on a draw. At the moment we have the laughable situation where Melbourne might have to try to lose to Fremantle at the MCG just to appease members who want an extra draft pick. For real Melbourne fans, the promise of a brilliant future will never excuse tanking against the pitiful Dockers. The lure of football lies in the possiblilty of a weekend victory. A weekend where a fan would prefer a loss is just not in the spirit of the game.
And so I feel the cruelty of humanity penetrate my true-beating heart as idle brains pursue the topic of ‘tanking’. The argument, quite simply, is that Melbourne should win one more game for the season and no more. To win two or more games would cost us a very high draft pick and most likely negatively affect our long term future. It is a reasonable argument. But sick. Melbourne are experiencing their biggest hot streak in 30 months. They have responded to the illness of their president and club legend with defiance and emotion. And victory. Finally they have given tired, hopeless supporters a glimmer of optimism. They may well go down to Kardinia with a swagger in their step and smash the Cats. But inevitably, the relief of a Melbourne supporter must be blackened by the pathetic pragmatism of the ‘long term future’ obsessed common man. Where, I ask you, does reason stop and romance begin? And for every person who has said in a time of frustration and despair: ‘live for today’. I ask, who has actually done so???.
Of course, most of the injustice of today’s world can be traced back to governing bodies that were not democratically elected. Bodies that pursue equality and provide eternal hope. Like the AFL. The priority draft pick system is honourable in theory but flawed in practice. It’s purpose is to assist the clubs that perform extremely badly, even though the draft already does this. In practice it rewards extreme failure and pathetic underacheivement. Some people would argue that it is even wrong for the bottom placed team to get the number one draft pick. That even this may be an incentive to lose and may lead to game-throwing. Most people would agree that the priority system will lead to, and has already led to, a form of game-throwing. The term game-throwing, or tanking, may conjure up images of Hanse Cronje and Indian bookmakers, but in the ever growing AFL dictionary, game throwing has morphed into a newer, honourable term, used ad nauseum in football circles: rebuilding.
Coaches don’t need to tell players to play poorly. They don’t need to have team meetings and talk about how to lose games. They can sleep soundly at night. Club leaders can face the media and sell the future, while ignoring the past. Play young players way before they are ready, to give them some experience. Play players out of position to test their versality. Drop older players because they may not be part of the team next year, even though they are part of the best 22 now. Make players have operations early, so they can start their preseason on time. All these tactics are logical and honourable. Clubs must look to the future. But whilst the result of these tactics may be losing games, the main reason for these tactics should never be to deliberately lose. At the moment it sometimes is. To create a situation where a club, let alone several clubs, gets a reward for losing, is, for want of a better phrase, a blight on the game. The draft system as it is now not only rewards failure but punishes success. Clubs like North Melbourne, Collingwood and Adelaide strive for the finals every year and, admirably, try to regenerate and be consistently successful, rather than rebuild at the first sign of poor form.
The priority draft pick system has been criticised for a long time, and no real changes have been made. It should have been abolished years ago. Clubs are fielding poor teams and happily losing games every year. The draft system also needs to be changed. Perhaps the ladder needs to be split into 4 groups, so the bottom placed team doesn’t automatically get the first pick. It may well get the 4th pick, depending on a draw. At the moment we have the laughable situation where Melbourne might have to try to lose to Fremantle at the MCG just to appease members who want an extra draft pick. For real Melbourne fans, the promise of a brilliant future will never excuse tanking against the pitiful Dockers. The lure of football lies in the possiblilty of a weekend victory. A weekend where a fan would prefer a loss is just not in the spirit of the game.
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