Snide comments from my fan base aside, I always said Round 1 would provide the inspiration to get leather poisoning back on track. Now the real stuff has started and the yawn-fest NAB cup can be consigned to the blurry drunken memory that was another unsatisfying February. Pre-season form means squat and I could find stats to back me up if I need but I won't.
Histories great philosophers always preferred thoughts over numbers. Sadly, footballs respected thinkers (with some notable exceptions) prefer the safety and certainty of statistics over the lucid and infinitely variable sea that is football thought. Such commentators tirelessly grab at the stats sheet in a useless attempt to make sense of the chaos that they view. Their conclusions are, invariably, baseless, but still they insist on feeding us. For this lamentable stats-based football analysis we have Dream Team and it's followers to blame. As a non Dream Team/Supercoach player and a football thinker of high intelligence, I am constantly offended and not a little bit shitted by networks constant stream of Dream Team scores. That Mitch Robinson was rated amongst the Blues' best for his numbers on Friday night is proof that commentators mainly rate players on statistics. Cotchin overlooked as Richmond's best is further evidence. All commentators bring some bias into their views of games (my bias and dislike of Robinson is hereby disclosed) but using statistics as a way to objectively assess a game is even more wrong.
The bias of commentators and umpires towards Carlton legend/messiah captain Judd is becoming more obvious and irritating season by season His game was alright on Friday night but not nearly worth the praise he received from commentators. One broadcaster gushed at Judd's massive impact despite the fact Juddy had just come on after four minutes on the bench, which his co-commentator had mentioned. Let's not speak of the first name basis Chris and the umpires are on, safe to say that he will definitely poll Brownlow votes in Round 1. Australian football is a riveting game, albeit quite hard to understand at times. If a new viewer is not completely confused by the rules and strategies of the game we should be thankful that some football wordsmiths are doing their utmost to destroy said viewers braincells with a new football lexicon. It is great that every season coaches players and commentators come up with new words to describe the new aspects of the sport. Awesome football commentator but fast becoming over exposed all round good bloke Tom Harley has time and again proven he is not just a pretty face with his cutting analysis and advanced use of the English language. Harley introduced a blitz goal, which I gather means a goal scored very fast, like a blitzkrieg, but with a footy and on the g. He also mentioned ballistic football, which I gather means players are going ballistic on the ground and things are getting messy, like when you mix coke, pills, jager and Viagra. You know it.
Harley was a legendary full back let's not forget. Massive Props for that. Also, evidently, a huge Wesley Snipes fan, as he kept mentioning drop zone during the game. Sick movie and I might go down to blockbuster and hire the DVD. Hell, I'll just download it. No one will know.
Not to be outdone, players have also introduced new words to be used for the season ahead. One is a chop-out. I think it means helping hand. Eg, I was brawling in the Safeway car park and luckily Chris came out and gave me a chop-out. The other is upside. I think this means room for improvement, or advantage. Eg, the upside of moving to the Gold Coast is the money and way hotter chicks than Geelong.
It seems that that upside may not really exist in reality. Maybe Peter Costello, Caroline Wilson and the association of footballer-haters has turned women completely off footballers, and the boys up in the GC aren't getting any lovin, despite their deep tans and glorious pre-seasoned physiques. Did you see Swallow in the Herald-Sun? I only read the pictures. Maybe Queensland chicks just go for rugby players. Maybe Fev left a real mark up there. Anyway, Alan Richardson, Carlton assistant coach, made multiple references to the Gold Coast boys being aroused this week for their first football game. They are going to be a super-aroused group, said Richardson. I guess he meant they'd be pumped for their first game, but in the modern football world who really knows. I'm just aroused thinking of Melbourne's first big win.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Blight on the game, tampering to blame
The following article was published on thebigtip.com.au on 27 May 2010
When I was 14 a friend of mine asked if I wanted to become an umpire. We could play football on Saturday and umpire junior games on Sundays. And earn some extra pocket money. The next Friday night I was down at ‘umpire training’, a collection of outcast nerds seriously practicing positioning, bouncing and backwards running. The following Sunday I was umpiring an under 11’s practice match, more nervous than I’d ever been before a football game. It didn’t occur to me then, but now it is obvious that the league needed umpires. Quickly.
My father drove me to the ground bemused. Having watched over 100 games of me playing, he was not particularly keen on spending a few hours at a suburban ground watching his son umpire. ‘Good holding the ball decision in the last quarter’ was not a comment he really wanted to make. And how would he respond if he ran into someone he knew? ‘Yes, I’m watching my son umpire’. ‘Oh but yes he still plays’. Originally, umpiring junior games was quite a rewarding experience. It was enlightening to see a game from a different viewpoint, to restrain myself from going for the ball and from turning my head to the umpire when I saw an infringement. And after I realised that I was that umpire, I found the job quite easy. Most players with significant football experience have a natural reaction to an obvious infringement. As an umpire, you simply have to blow the whistle and pay the free kick. There is no reason to think. The free kick is very obvious.
Umpire, Luke Ball, AFL, decision, rules, Shaun RyanWithin a year I was umpiring finals and Grand Finals, even umpiring games of players older than me. My strategy towards abusive players and supporters was simple. I maintained an ice cold demeanour, maintained consistency with my decisions, and accepted the fact that most people at the game accepted the necessity of having me without liking me. When a player shook my hand after a game and said ‘Thanks ump’ I was quietly satisfied, but I yearned not for acceptance from players. If no player or supporter or team manager ever spoke to me I was similarly content, and I took for granted mindless abuse from the boundary line. As games became more intense I thrived on it. If a player opposed one of my decisions I named the free kick, set the mark, and gave no further explanation. I rarely paid 15 metre penalties unless every person at the ground expected it, and I worked on the simple notion of paying the least amount of free kicks as possible. I was, for the above reasons, a highly acceptable and exemplary umpire. I rarely smiled, and I only raised my voice to call ‘play on’ to the players and ‘yours Jacko’ to my fellow umpire dawdling further down the ground.
As a player I chose to maintain a constant dialogue with the umpires, constantly critiquing their decisions, suggesting the reasons for their mistakes and generally and specifically denigrating their existence at all times. When I began to umpire I didn’t curb this dialogue. I simply accepted that I was a player on Saturday and an umpire on Sunday.
It is fair to say that the contemporary AFL umpire is the complete opposite to me. In the AFL, the umpires maintain the dialogue, even though most players, and more recently television viewers, are quite sick of their voices. Formerly, the only reason for an umpire to raise their voice was to call ‘touched, play on’ and ‘no 10, play on’. That was how I operated, and otherwise preserved my vocal chords for abusing the umpires while playing. The current AFL umpire yells constantly at players, in a pathetic, condescending, school teacher like way. ‘Walk away, stay out of it, no opportunity’. An umpires authority is in his whistle and the righteousness of his decisions, not in his voice. Calling players by their first names, nick names, or calling them mate, is totally unnecessary. But the problems with AFL umpires and their lack of popularity, which apparently trickles to suburban and junior football, is not with their attempts at mateship with players, despite how annoying this is. It is, undoubtebly, with the decisions they make, and with the administrators who advise the umpires on how to make decisions.
The disgraceful state of adjudication in the AFL is reflected in the growing exasperation of commentators on radio and tv, particularly the latter. The week after umpire appreciation round, one Fox Sports commentator commented that this week they could say what they felt, the obvious meaning being that commentators were requested to be positive towards umpires in the previous round. Dennis Cometti’s frustration is hidden with humour. Ever the professional, Cometti regularly queries decisions by calling in the advice of his expert commentators. He is simply bewildered by the current state of the rules, as are many football viewers.
A few years ago, the AFL announced a new interpretation of the push in the back rule. Although push in the back, especially in a marking contest, was a difficult rule to accurately police, there was no obvious problem with it as it previously existed. But someone thought it necessary to change it anyway, forcing umpires to make massively unpopular decisions and raising umpire hatred levels considerably, flying directly in the face of the AFL’s attempts to increase umpire respect. Any spectator that saw Matthew Richardson’s mark and goal to (not) beat Carlton, only for a free and 50 to be paid against him, knows the cruelty and sheer injustice of this interpretation. Players have for the most part adjusted to this rule, but it is still not the right rule. The push in the back interpretations most worrying legacy is how it began a trend towards regular re-interpretations of other rules. Some are introduced pre season with a dvd. Others are introduced mid season, suddenly and without warning, undermining any consistency umpires might strive towards. After Barry Hall’s headlock demo on Saturday, one commentator suggested that this violent incident (don’t the fans just love it!) led to stricter enforcement of rules on the Sunday. The idea that umpires could possibly adjust their interprations and adjudication from one day to the next, in the same round, seriously undermines the players and coaches, who do their utmost to strategise and play within the rules.
As mentioned in these pages last year, the interpretation of ‘holding the ball’ needs serious and urgent attention. Here is the current interpretation (by current I mean the last month): if a player is on his knees and the ball comes into his possession, then he is tackeled by three opponents, deprived of an opportunity to get rid of the ball and smothered to the ground, he has made the mistake and will give away a free kick. Even if his opponents are blatantly holding the ball to him, it is his fault. This current interpretation has every commentator in the country biting his or her tongue in bewilderment. One player had his hands stretched above his head, but was called for holding the ball, though other players were holding it. This ruling is frustrating enough, but the fact that it has only started being enforced in the last month smacks of an umpiring department clearly changing rules on its feet.
The extreme enforcement of 50 metre penalties is also creating massive discontent amongst the AFL community. Ryan Griffen was paid a 50 metre penalty against him because his 20 metre grid iron pass was not sufficiently accurate. Other players are paid 50 metres because they are caught in the extremely unspecific ‘protected zone’, even though they had no time whatsoever to vacate this zone (Leon Davis last Friday). Other players returned the ball to an opponent in a loopy trajectory and were paid a 50, though this loopy returning was acceptable from rounds 1-8. If the ball was drilled at the other player they may have given away 50 for returning it too violently. Best just to hand deliver it next time.
As Cometti joked, players next week will spend training practicing their return throws to prevent giving away 50. Given the amount of 50 metre penalites that result in goals, it is not such a silly idea. Arguing a point with an umpire is a silly idea. A free kick for ‘abuse’, paid twice last Friday night, has rarely, if ever, been given in an AFL game. So why was it suddenly implemented in the biggest match of the year, when tempers were running hot because of the number of umpiring mistakes being made? It is a question that no one will ever ask. It is often said that the stream of umpiring mistakes, new interpretations, and inconsistencies will cost a team a premiership one day. Bullodgs fans who witnessed the moronic out of bounds decision during last years preliminary final might believe that day has already occurred. Whatever. Disrespect and contempt towards umpires is a national sport. Breaking the trend is an admirable pursuit, but the AFL has only itself to blame for it being so bloody hard.
When I was 14 a friend of mine asked if I wanted to become an umpire. We could play football on Saturday and umpire junior games on Sundays. And earn some extra pocket money. The next Friday night I was down at ‘umpire training’, a collection of outcast nerds seriously practicing positioning, bouncing and backwards running. The following Sunday I was umpiring an under 11’s practice match, more nervous than I’d ever been before a football game. It didn’t occur to me then, but now it is obvious that the league needed umpires. Quickly.
My father drove me to the ground bemused. Having watched over 100 games of me playing, he was not particularly keen on spending a few hours at a suburban ground watching his son umpire. ‘Good holding the ball decision in the last quarter’ was not a comment he really wanted to make. And how would he respond if he ran into someone he knew? ‘Yes, I’m watching my son umpire’. ‘Oh but yes he still plays’. Originally, umpiring junior games was quite a rewarding experience. It was enlightening to see a game from a different viewpoint, to restrain myself from going for the ball and from turning my head to the umpire when I saw an infringement. And after I realised that I was that umpire, I found the job quite easy. Most players with significant football experience have a natural reaction to an obvious infringement. As an umpire, you simply have to blow the whistle and pay the free kick. There is no reason to think. The free kick is very obvious.
Umpire, Luke Ball, AFL, decision, rules, Shaun RyanWithin a year I was umpiring finals and Grand Finals, even umpiring games of players older than me. My strategy towards abusive players and supporters was simple. I maintained an ice cold demeanour, maintained consistency with my decisions, and accepted the fact that most people at the game accepted the necessity of having me without liking me. When a player shook my hand after a game and said ‘Thanks ump’ I was quietly satisfied, but I yearned not for acceptance from players. If no player or supporter or team manager ever spoke to me I was similarly content, and I took for granted mindless abuse from the boundary line. As games became more intense I thrived on it. If a player opposed one of my decisions I named the free kick, set the mark, and gave no further explanation. I rarely paid 15 metre penalties unless every person at the ground expected it, and I worked on the simple notion of paying the least amount of free kicks as possible. I was, for the above reasons, a highly acceptable and exemplary umpire. I rarely smiled, and I only raised my voice to call ‘play on’ to the players and ‘yours Jacko’ to my fellow umpire dawdling further down the ground.
As a player I chose to maintain a constant dialogue with the umpires, constantly critiquing their decisions, suggesting the reasons for their mistakes and generally and specifically denigrating their existence at all times. When I began to umpire I didn’t curb this dialogue. I simply accepted that I was a player on Saturday and an umpire on Sunday.
It is fair to say that the contemporary AFL umpire is the complete opposite to me. In the AFL, the umpires maintain the dialogue, even though most players, and more recently television viewers, are quite sick of their voices. Formerly, the only reason for an umpire to raise their voice was to call ‘touched, play on’ and ‘no 10, play on’. That was how I operated, and otherwise preserved my vocal chords for abusing the umpires while playing. The current AFL umpire yells constantly at players, in a pathetic, condescending, school teacher like way. ‘Walk away, stay out of it, no opportunity’. An umpires authority is in his whistle and the righteousness of his decisions, not in his voice. Calling players by their first names, nick names, or calling them mate, is totally unnecessary. But the problems with AFL umpires and their lack of popularity, which apparently trickles to suburban and junior football, is not with their attempts at mateship with players, despite how annoying this is. It is, undoubtebly, with the decisions they make, and with the administrators who advise the umpires on how to make decisions.
The disgraceful state of adjudication in the AFL is reflected in the growing exasperation of commentators on radio and tv, particularly the latter. The week after umpire appreciation round, one Fox Sports commentator commented that this week they could say what they felt, the obvious meaning being that commentators were requested to be positive towards umpires in the previous round. Dennis Cometti’s frustration is hidden with humour. Ever the professional, Cometti regularly queries decisions by calling in the advice of his expert commentators. He is simply bewildered by the current state of the rules, as are many football viewers.
A few years ago, the AFL announced a new interpretation of the push in the back rule. Although push in the back, especially in a marking contest, was a difficult rule to accurately police, there was no obvious problem with it as it previously existed. But someone thought it necessary to change it anyway, forcing umpires to make massively unpopular decisions and raising umpire hatred levels considerably, flying directly in the face of the AFL’s attempts to increase umpire respect. Any spectator that saw Matthew Richardson’s mark and goal to (not) beat Carlton, only for a free and 50 to be paid against him, knows the cruelty and sheer injustice of this interpretation. Players have for the most part adjusted to this rule, but it is still not the right rule. The push in the back interpretations most worrying legacy is how it began a trend towards regular re-interpretations of other rules. Some are introduced pre season with a dvd. Others are introduced mid season, suddenly and without warning, undermining any consistency umpires might strive towards. After Barry Hall’s headlock demo on Saturday, one commentator suggested that this violent incident (don’t the fans just love it!) led to stricter enforcement of rules on the Sunday. The idea that umpires could possibly adjust their interprations and adjudication from one day to the next, in the same round, seriously undermines the players and coaches, who do their utmost to strategise and play within the rules.
As mentioned in these pages last year, the interpretation of ‘holding the ball’ needs serious and urgent attention. Here is the current interpretation (by current I mean the last month): if a player is on his knees and the ball comes into his possession, then he is tackeled by three opponents, deprived of an opportunity to get rid of the ball and smothered to the ground, he has made the mistake and will give away a free kick. Even if his opponents are blatantly holding the ball to him, it is his fault. This current interpretation has every commentator in the country biting his or her tongue in bewilderment. One player had his hands stretched above his head, but was called for holding the ball, though other players were holding it. This ruling is frustrating enough, but the fact that it has only started being enforced in the last month smacks of an umpiring department clearly changing rules on its feet.
The extreme enforcement of 50 metre penalties is also creating massive discontent amongst the AFL community. Ryan Griffen was paid a 50 metre penalty against him because his 20 metre grid iron pass was not sufficiently accurate. Other players are paid 50 metres because they are caught in the extremely unspecific ‘protected zone’, even though they had no time whatsoever to vacate this zone (Leon Davis last Friday). Other players returned the ball to an opponent in a loopy trajectory and were paid a 50, though this loopy returning was acceptable from rounds 1-8. If the ball was drilled at the other player they may have given away 50 for returning it too violently. Best just to hand deliver it next time.
As Cometti joked, players next week will spend training practicing their return throws to prevent giving away 50. Given the amount of 50 metre penalites that result in goals, it is not such a silly idea. Arguing a point with an umpire is a silly idea. A free kick for ‘abuse’, paid twice last Friday night, has rarely, if ever, been given in an AFL game. So why was it suddenly implemented in the biggest match of the year, when tempers were running hot because of the number of umpiring mistakes being made? It is a question that no one will ever ask. It is often said that the stream of umpiring mistakes, new interpretations, and inconsistencies will cost a team a premiership one day. Bullodgs fans who witnessed the moronic out of bounds decision during last years preliminary final might believe that day has already occurred. Whatever. Disrespect and contempt towards umpires is a national sport. Breaking the trend is an admirable pursuit, but the AFL has only itself to blame for it being so bloody hard.
The Curse of the instant society
The following article was published on thebigtip.com.au on 20 May 2010
Round 20, 2008. Hawthorn sits second on the ladder and has a full strength team, one remarkably similar to the group that received premiership medals over a month later. In fact their starting 18 consisted of 18 soon to be premiership players. As a tune up for the finals, the Hawks took on 10 th placed Richmond. The Tigers were surging, again, towards an inevitable 9th place, giving their hungry fans a short look at the finals and another number 8 draft pick. Incredibly, then coach Terry Wallace was even fending off questions about a possible contract extension, such was the momentum the tiges were building. At such an important part of the season, the Hawks should have comfortably beaten Richmond, stamping their authority on the competition. Instead, the Tigers led at every change, and ran out comfortable 29 point winners. Exactly 41 days later Hawthorn fans were celebrating an unlikely flag. Richmond supporters were speculating (foolishly) on how their team’s late season form would lead into glory in 2009.
The concept that a team’s round 22 form can lead into good round one form 6 months later is complete folly, as proven by Richmond. In the same way, the idea that Collingwood’s sparkling round 8 form improves their chances of a premiership later in the year is naive. The best thing about Collingwood’s form right now is that the team can maybe afford to lose games later in the year and still finish top four. A football season is much like a football game. Momentum swings are inevitable, and the pies will no doubt lose some of their current form before the finals, be it due to injuries or top players simply losing from. Whether they can regain it is the most important thing. As Geelong found out in 2008, and StKilda in 2009, maintaining brilliant form for the whole year, culminating in a flag, is practically impossible.
Unfortunately, analysis of current form, and how it pertains to outcomes in September, means absolutely nothing. Experienced journalists are well aware of this, but the public’s desire to see current form trends become premiership predictions is insatiable. As Ross Lyon stated so profoundly: ‘we live in an instant society’. Supporters are impatient. But the great coaches must be patient, regardless of the unreasonable demands of the public. Bomber Thompson’s master stroke last season was resting large groups of players before the finals. Even if the team lost games, he stuck to his courageous strategy. For him, maintaining winning form before the finals was not important. Once a top four spot was guaranteed, all attention turned to having the team ready for finals. Nothing else. Winning form only mattered in finals matches, most particularly the grand final. Master coaches like Thompson and Malthouse know only too well how long a football season is, and one can sense their frustration as journalists harp on about this weeks game being a Grand Final preview. Thompson will be bemused by premiership talk. He’s walked the long road 3 times, and 2008 will remain a viscious reminder of how hard it is to actually get a flag.
This time last year Malthouse was, according to many journalists, about to be sacked. His problems last year, much like his success this year, were due to injuries to key players. He will know that finals success, more than ever, is dependent on full squads in September, not in May.
Round 20, 2008. Hawthorn sits second on the ladder and has a full strength team, one remarkably similar to the group that received premiership medals over a month later. In fact their starting 18 consisted of 18 soon to be premiership players. As a tune up for the finals, the Hawks took on 10 th placed Richmond. The Tigers were surging, again, towards an inevitable 9th place, giving their hungry fans a short look at the finals and another number 8 draft pick. Incredibly, then coach Terry Wallace was even fending off questions about a possible contract extension, such was the momentum the tiges were building. At such an important part of the season, the Hawks should have comfortably beaten Richmond, stamping their authority on the competition. Instead, the Tigers led at every change, and ran out comfortable 29 point winners. Exactly 41 days later Hawthorn fans were celebrating an unlikely flag. Richmond supporters were speculating (foolishly) on how their team’s late season form would lead into glory in 2009.
The concept that a team’s round 22 form can lead into good round one form 6 months later is complete folly, as proven by Richmond. In the same way, the idea that Collingwood’s sparkling round 8 form improves their chances of a premiership later in the year is naive. The best thing about Collingwood’s form right now is that the team can maybe afford to lose games later in the year and still finish top four. A football season is much like a football game. Momentum swings are inevitable, and the pies will no doubt lose some of their current form before the finals, be it due to injuries or top players simply losing from. Whether they can regain it is the most important thing. As Geelong found out in 2008, and StKilda in 2009, maintaining brilliant form for the whole year, culminating in a flag, is practically impossible.
Unfortunately, analysis of current form, and how it pertains to outcomes in September, means absolutely nothing. Experienced journalists are well aware of this, but the public’s desire to see current form trends become premiership predictions is insatiable. As Ross Lyon stated so profoundly: ‘we live in an instant society’. Supporters are impatient. But the great coaches must be patient, regardless of the unreasonable demands of the public. Bomber Thompson’s master stroke last season was resting large groups of players before the finals. Even if the team lost games, he stuck to his courageous strategy. For him, maintaining winning form before the finals was not important. Once a top four spot was guaranteed, all attention turned to having the team ready for finals. Nothing else. Winning form only mattered in finals matches, most particularly the grand final. Master coaches like Thompson and Malthouse know only too well how long a football season is, and one can sense their frustration as journalists harp on about this weeks game being a Grand Final preview. Thompson will be bemused by premiership talk. He’s walked the long road 3 times, and 2008 will remain a viscious reminder of how hard it is to actually get a flag.
This time last year Malthouse was, according to many journalists, about to be sacked. His problems last year, much like his success this year, were due to injuries to key players. He will know that finals success, more than ever, is dependent on full squads in September, not in May.
Lies, Damn Lies, AFL commentary
The following article was published on thebigtip.com.au on 13 May 2010
It was about 30 years ago that a visionary dad approached the quarter time huddle at his kid’s country under 15 game. To the slightly bemused crowd he said: “I’ve taken two types of statistics. Kicks… And shit kicks”. He was way ahead of his time.
It’s a tough business recruiting, and it’s only going to get tougher. With two new teams coming, all the talk is of recruiters searching far and wide for decent players. Country leagues. Amateur leagues. New Zealand. China. And of course in other codes. Kevin Sheedy’s comments that code swapping will become common place in the next decade are ill-conceived. His comparison to ordinary people changing industries and jobs over their career is also rather naive. He overlooks the fact that professional footballers are trained in very specific skills, have relatively short careers, and do not generally have a long time to acqure the new skills. Karmichael Hunt, NRL to AFL, Brisbane, Gold CoastPlayers who have played football for long periods during their childhood have inherent decision making skills that are not easy for a mature age player to attain. As clubs and their coaches emphasise relentless pressure on opposition as the first step to winning games, decision making skills are all-important. Turnovers, the result of such pressure, often result in goals, so ball handling and even more importantly kicking skills, are of extreme importance. To suggest that a rugby player, who has barely spent any of his adult life kicking an Australian football, can pick up these kicking skills to reach AFL standard is something of an insult to those who have spent their lives perfecting (or trying to perfect) the art. Other skills such as judging a high ball in flight and bending at full speed to pick up an oval ball are also very hard to learn, even for an elite athlete.
Paying a rugby player huge money to change to AFL is a similar insult and also quite short-sighted. I challenge the idea that paying this money is worth it in sheer marketing terms. Saturation news coverage may be beneficial at the beginning. But if this player turns out not to reach the standard required to successfully play AFL and moves back to rugby after two years, the supporters of the club will be justifiably annoyed that the cash was not spent on a player with an AFL background. The negative coverage that this will generate could be quite damaging to the club and it’s ‘brand’. If any publicity is good publicity clubs can easily contrive a booze cruise scandal and let the media go on a typical feeding frenzy. If this marketing coup is supposed to attract rugby fans to Aussie Rules, simply imagine if an AFL player switched to rugby. Would real AFL supporters follow a player and begin watching another code? Emphatically no. Finally, the recruitment of a player from another code on an inflated salary may also anger players who feel that the recruit has not yet earnt his large pay packet. This disgruntlement could influence player performance and morale.
Of course, sometimes deciding if a player is good or not is difficult, especially when we are fed a million pointless statistics by commentators. The recent focus of commentators on ‘Dreamteam points’ is a shame and should be removed from the game. For people who don’t play Dreamteam it is an annoying waste of time. For people who listen to the radio for an objective analysis of a game, the intense focus on statistics is frustrating. Commentators all too often forget that radio listeners are blind to the actual happenings on the field, and rely on the vivid descriptions of commentators to nourish their imaginations. Radio commentators are respected (usually), paid experts and should make appraisals of players performances without having to have their decisions confirmed by statistics sheets. That the statistic of ruck hitouts is still regularly mentioned in this day and age is a farce. One only had to watch Mumford and Blake cancel each other out on the weekend to confirm how completely obsolete and useless this statistic, for the most part, is. The near obsession of commentators with the Dreamteam leads one to wonder whether they have been requested by powers above to focus on promoting this (AFL sponsored) competition that so rivets my lesser-minded friends. Perhaps they want to direct more people to the AFL website, so it can freeze the fans’ computers.
The increased use of statistics by commentators is something astute football fans simply have to put up with, for there is no sign of it abating. Those lucky enough to witness games live or on TV can make their own judgment about a player’s performance without the clutter of endless stats. Those who are forced to depend on the radio should start playing Dreamteam. And hope that their computer is strong enough to survive bigpond and the horrible AFL website.
It was about 30 years ago that a visionary dad approached the quarter time huddle at his kid’s country under 15 game. To the slightly bemused crowd he said: “I’ve taken two types of statistics. Kicks… And shit kicks”. He was way ahead of his time.
It’s a tough business recruiting, and it’s only going to get tougher. With two new teams coming, all the talk is of recruiters searching far and wide for decent players. Country leagues. Amateur leagues. New Zealand. China. And of course in other codes. Kevin Sheedy’s comments that code swapping will become common place in the next decade are ill-conceived. His comparison to ordinary people changing industries and jobs over their career is also rather naive. He overlooks the fact that professional footballers are trained in very specific skills, have relatively short careers, and do not generally have a long time to acqure the new skills. Karmichael Hunt, NRL to AFL, Brisbane, Gold CoastPlayers who have played football for long periods during their childhood have inherent decision making skills that are not easy for a mature age player to attain. As clubs and their coaches emphasise relentless pressure on opposition as the first step to winning games, decision making skills are all-important. Turnovers, the result of such pressure, often result in goals, so ball handling and even more importantly kicking skills, are of extreme importance. To suggest that a rugby player, who has barely spent any of his adult life kicking an Australian football, can pick up these kicking skills to reach AFL standard is something of an insult to those who have spent their lives perfecting (or trying to perfect) the art. Other skills such as judging a high ball in flight and bending at full speed to pick up an oval ball are also very hard to learn, even for an elite athlete.
Paying a rugby player huge money to change to AFL is a similar insult and also quite short-sighted. I challenge the idea that paying this money is worth it in sheer marketing terms. Saturation news coverage may be beneficial at the beginning. But if this player turns out not to reach the standard required to successfully play AFL and moves back to rugby after two years, the supporters of the club will be justifiably annoyed that the cash was not spent on a player with an AFL background. The negative coverage that this will generate could be quite damaging to the club and it’s ‘brand’. If any publicity is good publicity clubs can easily contrive a booze cruise scandal and let the media go on a typical feeding frenzy. If this marketing coup is supposed to attract rugby fans to Aussie Rules, simply imagine if an AFL player switched to rugby. Would real AFL supporters follow a player and begin watching another code? Emphatically no. Finally, the recruitment of a player from another code on an inflated salary may also anger players who feel that the recruit has not yet earnt his large pay packet. This disgruntlement could influence player performance and morale.
Of course, sometimes deciding if a player is good or not is difficult, especially when we are fed a million pointless statistics by commentators. The recent focus of commentators on ‘Dreamteam points’ is a shame and should be removed from the game. For people who don’t play Dreamteam it is an annoying waste of time. For people who listen to the radio for an objective analysis of a game, the intense focus on statistics is frustrating. Commentators all too often forget that radio listeners are blind to the actual happenings on the field, and rely on the vivid descriptions of commentators to nourish their imaginations. Radio commentators are respected (usually), paid experts and should make appraisals of players performances without having to have their decisions confirmed by statistics sheets. That the statistic of ruck hitouts is still regularly mentioned in this day and age is a farce. One only had to watch Mumford and Blake cancel each other out on the weekend to confirm how completely obsolete and useless this statistic, for the most part, is. The near obsession of commentators with the Dreamteam leads one to wonder whether they have been requested by powers above to focus on promoting this (AFL sponsored) competition that so rivets my lesser-minded friends. Perhaps they want to direct more people to the AFL website, so it can freeze the fans’ computers.
The increased use of statistics by commentators is something astute football fans simply have to put up with, for there is no sign of it abating. Those lucky enough to witness games live or on TV can make their own judgment about a player’s performance without the clutter of endless stats. Those who are forced to depend on the radio should start playing Dreamteam. And hope that their computer is strong enough to survive bigpond and the horrible AFL website.
Slap on the right wrist, palm grease on the left
The following article was published on thebigtip.com.au on 7 May 2010
“Gambling is an issue for sport worldwide, and that is why we take it so seriously.” Adrian Anderson
We bloody well should. Where government, church and community fails, there is our great social leader, the AFL. The moral compass of good and bad. Brutal judge of anti-social behaviour and shameless self promoter of goodness all around. The AFL has done some great things for social progress over the years and should be commended. This Friday’s field of women is a good example. The leagues extremely harsh reaction to AFL or club staff betting on games is also reasonable, considering what betting has done to other sports. Gambling is poisonous when done by players and people who can influence games. But gambling done by fans for their own enjoyment is totally legal, despite how it affects the lives of the gamblers. The AFL stands on a pedastal on a number of issues and does its best to promote what is best for society. One example is the leagues condmenation of the binge drinking culture that prevails in many of Australia’s football clubs. Getting extremely drunk is not a crime, but doing it sometimes leads to a negative impact on ones life. The AFL felt the need to address this issue, though it has no parliamentary obligation to do so. So if the AFL is determined to improve the lives of people involved in football by reducing extreme drunkeness, where does it stand on another of society’s acknowledged ills, gambling?
Setanta O'hAilpin, Carlton Blues, vs Collingwood, Sportsbetting advertisingThe promotion of gambling in AFL related television, radio, and other media outlets has grown markedly this season, so that even non-gamblers must be aware of the pervasive influence sports betting now has on AFL. The worst website in the world, afl.com.au has a sporadically openable feature called gameday, which displays live betting odds for viewers, encouraging betting. Radio stations often throw to betting agency people for live reports on odds fluctuations before and during games. Even so-called journalists investigating Jonothan Brown’s mysterious stomach ailment got their quotes from a betting agency spokesman who questioned Brown’s integrity should his comments prove to be wrong. Betting agency logos are even presented on the most sacred AFL symbol, the mighty Sherrin football.
Sports betting is legal, and betting agencies have the legal right to promote their services to their target market. It’s probably not as socially damaging as pokie machines and other types of gambling and to intelligent gamblers it is a highly rewarding and satisfying pursuit. But the AFL has taken many socially positive stances, preaching responsibility even when people are not breaking the law. One of it’s players has admitted to a gambling problem that has negatively affected his life and the league has endorsed his honesty and personal quest to solve his gambling problems. If gambling is an issue for sport, it is also an even bigger issue for society, and if the AFL is determined to improve the lives of those involved in the ‘AFL community’ then it is somewhat hypocritical receiving massive amounts of sponsorship money from organisations who promote gambling.
Disclosure. The author regularly places emotional and thoughtless bets on football games.
“Gambling is an issue for sport worldwide, and that is why we take it so seriously.” Adrian Anderson
We bloody well should. Where government, church and community fails, there is our great social leader, the AFL. The moral compass of good and bad. Brutal judge of anti-social behaviour and shameless self promoter of goodness all around. The AFL has done some great things for social progress over the years and should be commended. This Friday’s field of women is a good example. The leagues extremely harsh reaction to AFL or club staff betting on games is also reasonable, considering what betting has done to other sports. Gambling is poisonous when done by players and people who can influence games. But gambling done by fans for their own enjoyment is totally legal, despite how it affects the lives of the gamblers. The AFL stands on a pedastal on a number of issues and does its best to promote what is best for society. One example is the leagues condmenation of the binge drinking culture that prevails in many of Australia’s football clubs. Getting extremely drunk is not a crime, but doing it sometimes leads to a negative impact on ones life. The AFL felt the need to address this issue, though it has no parliamentary obligation to do so. So if the AFL is determined to improve the lives of people involved in football by reducing extreme drunkeness, where does it stand on another of society’s acknowledged ills, gambling?
Setanta O'hAilpin, Carlton Blues, vs Collingwood, Sportsbetting advertisingThe promotion of gambling in AFL related television, radio, and other media outlets has grown markedly this season, so that even non-gamblers must be aware of the pervasive influence sports betting now has on AFL. The worst website in the world, afl.com.au has a sporadically openable feature called gameday, which displays live betting odds for viewers, encouraging betting. Radio stations often throw to betting agency people for live reports on odds fluctuations before and during games. Even so-called journalists investigating Jonothan Brown’s mysterious stomach ailment got their quotes from a betting agency spokesman who questioned Brown’s integrity should his comments prove to be wrong. Betting agency logos are even presented on the most sacred AFL symbol, the mighty Sherrin football.
Sports betting is legal, and betting agencies have the legal right to promote their services to their target market. It’s probably not as socially damaging as pokie machines and other types of gambling and to intelligent gamblers it is a highly rewarding and satisfying pursuit. But the AFL has taken many socially positive stances, preaching responsibility even when people are not breaking the law. One of it’s players has admitted to a gambling problem that has negatively affected his life and the league has endorsed his honesty and personal quest to solve his gambling problems. If gambling is an issue for sport, it is also an even bigger issue for society, and if the AFL is determined to improve the lives of those involved in the ‘AFL community’ then it is somewhat hypocritical receiving massive amounts of sponsorship money from organisations who promote gambling.
Disclosure. The author regularly places emotional and thoughtless bets on football games.
Those sweet nights, those perfect games
The following article was published on thebigtip.com.au on April 30, 2010
He sat deep in the stands on a late winter night as waves of emotion overcame him. The field below, the scene of something scarcely believable just a few minutes earlier, was now devoid of life. Lights shining on emptiness. As families around him shuffled towards the exits, he finally sat down. The last few bars of the club song had drained his every last drop of energy. For a moment, suddenly, he needed to be alone, to block it all out. So he buried his head in his hands and cried. A few seconds later he lifted his head up, eyes red and tired. This was the line between pleasure and pain and it was all blurry. Around him people were confused. What happened? Isn’t this what you wanted? Was this not a scene of famous victory? The sort of victory you will remember for a lifetime but others will forget within weeks. Wasn’t being at games like this the reason you bought your membership? These weren’t tears of joy or pain but something unexplainable. Tears of pure emotion, pure exhaustion. They’d played their final series a month too early. Taken their supporters high then low then through sheer will dragged them back to the top again for a final glimpse. And that was it. Even heading into the finals everyone was exhausted. And they were gone the next week, and no one really remembers it.
HE sat in an internet cafe deep in a southern Chinese province and ate KFC and inhaled the smoke of cheap Chinese cigarettes. For 25 minutes he watched a slow line sneak across a screen symbolising events taking place half a world away. Finally the radio kicked in and a voice could give human life to something that didn’t feel quite real. They stayed with them for the first half, selling false hope to people who would never buy it again. Well maybe just a little bit. Half time was a reality check. This wasn’t gonna happen. Why would it? But he went back inside anyway and a kid nearly spat on his foot and it was on. They stayed with them in the third and the crowd lifted a little. Only the real supporters were still there during those dark times. The rest had their excuses. And the commentators sensed something. He could feel it too. Things were happening that didn’t usually happen. But someone so versed in disappointment didn’t fall in that easy. When they were still up with less than 10 minutes to go he reassessed, and hoped silently, treachorously, for some equilibrium. This didn’t need to happen. It wasn’t going to happen. The enemy kicked two in a minute and it was over. He threw the headphones at the screen. It was lacklustre rage at best like a poor actor in a poor movie. He just couldn’t summon it anymore. Not after this long. It even felt like relief. Then he picked up the headphones and listened again because he never left early, home or away. They had one last crack. Went forward. Marked. Goaled. The other team burst from the centre to snatch it back, but the backline was a flood. They held their nerve. Won it. He roared. Turned every head. Got up and walked back into those strange streets and it felt like it never happened because nobody else understood. And no one really remembers it.
Brad Green, Joel MacDonald, Melbourne Demons, celebrate, win, victoryIT was still warm in April and they took the train to the ‘g thinking, unbelievably, about 3 in a row. And it’s what they got. It was just one of those nights when every tackle sticks, when players are constanly bombing goals from 50 and umpires are paying easy frees. You lead at every change but the other team still has a sniff at three quarter time. Rather than shattering every nerve in every supporters body like before, this time you put the visitors to the torch and win by 8 goals. You don’t have a bad player on the field and the next day you can finally read the newspaper without avoiding your teams match report. Flags or finals or years of nothing these are the games you have to hold onto. You have to enjoy it. Or you’ll get nothing at all. Those sweet nights. Those perfect games.
In the bad times, those memories are what you have. What you have to remember, and what you have to look forward to. Essendon fans calling for Matthew Knights’ head might look back to last year and think about giving the guy a break. They did win a number of big games as underdogs against despised local rivals. Same gameplan, similar players. For clubs that are somehow living the opposite of Knights’ horror run (you know who I mean!), it’s time to enjoy the good times. Viewing a game and actually expecting, no demanding, to win is a wholly foreign concept and getting used to it should be one of life’s great pleasures. Ask Geelong supporters. Oh well not anymore.
He sat deep in the stands on a late winter night as waves of emotion overcame him. The field below, the scene of something scarcely believable just a few minutes earlier, was now devoid of life. Lights shining on emptiness. As families around him shuffled towards the exits, he finally sat down. The last few bars of the club song had drained his every last drop of energy. For a moment, suddenly, he needed to be alone, to block it all out. So he buried his head in his hands and cried. A few seconds later he lifted his head up, eyes red and tired. This was the line between pleasure and pain and it was all blurry. Around him people were confused. What happened? Isn’t this what you wanted? Was this not a scene of famous victory? The sort of victory you will remember for a lifetime but others will forget within weeks. Wasn’t being at games like this the reason you bought your membership? These weren’t tears of joy or pain but something unexplainable. Tears of pure emotion, pure exhaustion. They’d played their final series a month too early. Taken their supporters high then low then through sheer will dragged them back to the top again for a final glimpse. And that was it. Even heading into the finals everyone was exhausted. And they were gone the next week, and no one really remembers it.
HE sat in an internet cafe deep in a southern Chinese province and ate KFC and inhaled the smoke of cheap Chinese cigarettes. For 25 minutes he watched a slow line sneak across a screen symbolising events taking place half a world away. Finally the radio kicked in and a voice could give human life to something that didn’t feel quite real. They stayed with them for the first half, selling false hope to people who would never buy it again. Well maybe just a little bit. Half time was a reality check. This wasn’t gonna happen. Why would it? But he went back inside anyway and a kid nearly spat on his foot and it was on. They stayed with them in the third and the crowd lifted a little. Only the real supporters were still there during those dark times. The rest had their excuses. And the commentators sensed something. He could feel it too. Things were happening that didn’t usually happen. But someone so versed in disappointment didn’t fall in that easy. When they were still up with less than 10 minutes to go he reassessed, and hoped silently, treachorously, for some equilibrium. This didn’t need to happen. It wasn’t going to happen. The enemy kicked two in a minute and it was over. He threw the headphones at the screen. It was lacklustre rage at best like a poor actor in a poor movie. He just couldn’t summon it anymore. Not after this long. It even felt like relief. Then he picked up the headphones and listened again because he never left early, home or away. They had one last crack. Went forward. Marked. Goaled. The other team burst from the centre to snatch it back, but the backline was a flood. They held their nerve. Won it. He roared. Turned every head. Got up and walked back into those strange streets and it felt like it never happened because nobody else understood. And no one really remembers it.
Brad Green, Joel MacDonald, Melbourne Demons, celebrate, win, victoryIT was still warm in April and they took the train to the ‘g thinking, unbelievably, about 3 in a row. And it’s what they got. It was just one of those nights when every tackle sticks, when players are constanly bombing goals from 50 and umpires are paying easy frees. You lead at every change but the other team still has a sniff at three quarter time. Rather than shattering every nerve in every supporters body like before, this time you put the visitors to the torch and win by 8 goals. You don’t have a bad player on the field and the next day you can finally read the newspaper without avoiding your teams match report. Flags or finals or years of nothing these are the games you have to hold onto. You have to enjoy it. Or you’ll get nothing at all. Those sweet nights. Those perfect games.
In the bad times, those memories are what you have. What you have to remember, and what you have to look forward to. Essendon fans calling for Matthew Knights’ head might look back to last year and think about giving the guy a break. They did win a number of big games as underdogs against despised local rivals. Same gameplan, similar players. For clubs that are somehow living the opposite of Knights’ horror run (you know who I mean!), it’s time to enjoy the good times. Viewing a game and actually expecting, no demanding, to win is a wholly foreign concept and getting used to it should be one of life’s great pleasures. Ask Geelong supporters. Oh well not anymore.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Leather Poisoning - Syndicated on ww.thebigtip.com.au
Articles from this blog are now also published each week on thebigtip.com.au
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